Sometimes I behave like a jerk. It’s not intentional, but it happens.
Picture this: I’m in my car in a grocery store parking lot, on my way to the exit. It had been an irritating shopping experience that resulted in walking back into the store to return something I’d purchased in error. Well, I meant to purchase it. What I didn’t mean to do was exceed the four quantity limit the store had placed on the promotional price.
Frustrated with my mistake and overheated from a perimenopausal hot flash, I drove up behind a line of vehicles that were waiting to turn onto the street. To my left, I noticed a car had pulled forward into the exit lane from another area of the parking lot. It was sitting in the roadway, blocking the flow of traffic from one side. My immediate reaction was, “What’s this person doing? Who do they think they are?” As I inched forward, a decision loomed: should I let the car go in front of me or ignore it?
You might have guessed my choice from the first sentence. When the traffic moved, I went with it. And what happened next? The car beeped at me! Oh man; I got called out for being a jerk!
Sure, you could argue I was justified. This person seemed to be trying to cut into the line to exit ahead of everyone, and blocking traffic showed a blatant disregard for safe driving practices. Plus, I wasn’t feeling well.
However, that’s not the point. The point is, I chose self-righteousness instead of kindness. I’d decided this person was unworthy of being let into the line ahead of me, unworthy of a charitable gesture. Just like that, I’d put myself in the seat of judgment. Yikes!
Who am I to sit in judgment? That’s God’s job, not mine. Besides, we’re all unworthy. We’re all sinners (Romans 3:23). I’m called to love my neighbor (Mark 12:31), but I didn’t show any love to that driver in the parking lot. In fact, I showed the opposite.
In stressful times, we sometimes make decisions we later regret. I can’t go back and let that driver in, but I can move forward with more awareness, more grace, and a heart that leans toward love, not judgment. The next time I’m tested, I hope I’ll respond with the compassion I would want for myself. One small act of kindness might not change the world—but it can change someone’s day. And that’s a good place to start.
